This amazing little thing

It's a really tiny thing... 

We quibble about many things and tonight it's one of those. 

But tonight, I did something different.  I decided to do my Quiet Time (meaning to be quiet before God and listen to Him).  It's very much motivated by my best friend, Serene.  :) 

And this verse shouted at me! 

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV)

And then God spoke.  And I listened.  There!  Revelation!  

I explained what God told me to him and he lay on my lap and smiled.  The simplest and least painful patch up ever!  

But actually, I learned something more.  If one were to love someone with their own love, it's a tough business.  One can't just accommodate another person fully with his/her love.  That's why to love someone with God's love makes total sense!  Only God has limitless amount of love.  :) 

Anticipation vs Expectation

"Anticipation intensifies our feelings to an event."

This is so super duper true.  Without anticipation, it seems like all the festivals, events, and special occasions are just another ordinary day.  Sometimes, as a relationship runs for a certain amount of time, many things begin to lose it's importance...  Slowly, it'll lose its meaning and gradually you'll forget it exists... :(

Expectation is like the neutral term to 'anticipation', because anticipation means "look forward", "I can't wait", "eager", etc... Expectation, on the other hand, seems more business-like. Without much positive or negative connotation. Sometimes, expectation brings forth stress and obligation...  Most of the time, I guess it's like that.  Then again, proceeding with something without expectation sounds wrong also.  Well, guess everything is about BALANCE.

Oh well, I anticipate because I expect something.  Now when that something does not occur, my expectation is killed and there's nothing more to anticipate anymore.  And after that, I'll learn to not expect, so I won't anticipate, and thus no dejection.  Then, life seems to be easier...  Maybe sometimes better because there's lesser disappointment.  I thought I've seen passed the horizon and my heart grew bigger.  Or maybe colder...

Ok, I'm blabbering nonsense.

I should learn to anticipate something...  My anticipation skill seems to drop ever since my courses ended, my holidays ended,...
So, probably I should start anticipating over my wedding anniversary, then Christmas!  Ok!
Decided!

Or probably it should work this way, even if expectation fails, I should just move on and anticipate another thing and not dwell on the past...

Edited version: The previous post was a little too... Sad.  So, here what I think after pondering on it for a while. 

I think I figured out the diff. 

Expectation: for things that should be done. After it's done, it's done. Because it SHOULD BE done. 

Anticipation: for things that after completion, one feels a sense of happiness and excitement. 

Sometimes when we get too busy with work or routine things, anticipation just died.  Because it's finishing what we are expected to do.  

And it's easy to build anticipation!  Just plan something different in the day!  Try out a new method of teaching kids.  Buy some snacks for tea with colleagues.  Look out for chances to help others.  

And all of these bring some happiness and excitement to me.  :) 

Woah! Married!

Yes, I'm very much married!  In another 44 days, it'll be our 1st wedding anniversary!  Excited!

I don't know why I'm writing about this after not writing this blog for so long.  Probably that's the most happening thing that happened to me after so long.  :)

Many people asked about the difference before and after marriage, and even so, why marry?  But I do feel some sort of difference and realise the importance.

• We grew to understand each other more.  
• Habits (e.g. sleeping, eating, entertainment, bathing, personal hygiene, etc)
• Thoughts and ideas (e.g. what fills our tank, monetary, work, church, serving, etc) 
• We quarrel less. 
• Probably because of the above, we know what each other is thinking about. And even during arguments, we know what to do to appease each other. 
• We spend more time at home (and save more ka-ching too).
• We much prefer staying home and doing things together (watch dramas, build Gundam, laze around in bed, talk to each other, etc) than going outside. 
• We trust each other more. 
• We spend lesser time communicating with each other during the day time because we know we're gonna come back to each other in the evening.  So, we don't have to report where to go or what we do.  Or even when we hang out with opposite gender, there is no jealousy issue at all.  Amazing! 
• We can go home and go overseas together! 
• I like that the best!  Now, we don't have to walk circles near my house purposefully to spend more time together.  And we can explore places together without being separated.  :)  Blissfulness! 

What's so important about marriage?
There's this connection formed between us which is unexplainable.  It's as if I can feel him even when he is far away.  Maybe it's something divine and out of this world.  I feel very safe and I know where I belong, to this home and family that we are going to build together.  This is a marriage, a life long marriage.  Not just a wedding ceremony.  Many couples can cohabitate, and society now does not hold much benefit of marriage.  But I think emotionally, it really is DIFFERENT.

What is therapeutic?

10. Reading a book

9. Playing Coin Dozer & Cookie Dozer on iPhone

8. Watch Friends

7. Stare into space

6. Sleep with my Chou Chou

5. Peeping at other people's facebook profiles and photos

4. Online shopping @ gmarket

3. Eat Calbee Hot & Spicy (Un-ruffles)

2. Hanging out with friends

1. Putting my hair over my face for 10 secs

Wow! That was SOME hard time deciding my top 10. I just couldn't really decide which comes before which. Sometimes, I wanna just come up with some random questions and clear up my mind about them. haha!

Maybe that's what I will do when I'm out of job! But I kinda enjoy this lifestyle. Just going for tuition sessions with my kids, catching up with friends, making visits to play with little kids, reading books that I want to read without any stress, and sleeping till late! :)

I love being OUT OF JOB!

but not for too long...

If I have unlimited amount of money...

I'll give them away to all the orphanages.

I'll buy all the tissue packs from all the underprivileged.

I'll buy all the scrap booking materials from Made with Love.

I'll buy all my friends presents and treat them to good meals every day.

I'll buy a plot of land in Bugis and build a small cozy cottage for me and my family. There must be a small garden too.

I'll fly to USA to visit Weiying & Aussie to visit Rachel whenever I can.

and... I'll add more to the list when I think about it.

I was just bored, and I let my mind wonder around for a while. :)

I've grown...

FATTER!!!

It was just an innocent Penang trip. Just 4 days and 3 nights.

I was kinda expecting it but not that much!

I've only eaten:

3 Penang laska

2 Cha Kuay Teow

1 Cha Kuay (sth like sg carrot cake)

2 Chendol

1 Chendol with durian paste

1 Lau Bak (sth like sg wu xiang)

3 Durian Cheesecake from Secret Recipe

1 Chicken cornish from Secret Recipe

1 Chocolate banana cake from Secret Recipe

2 Hokkien Mee

2 whole durian

2 caramel popcorn

1 hotdog bun from A&W

2 curly fries from A&W

1 root beer float

2L of root beer

1 waffle with double ice cream from A&W

1 Seafood meal consisting of 2 cooking styles of crabs, crayfish and prawns

1 lor mee

many chicken wings

1 curry mee

1 roasted duck and shao rou with rice

10 satays

1 beef balls soup

and many that i cant rmb...

haha! But I really enjoyed the trip because it was really free and easy. And most importantly, Enhan led us around, being our fantastic tour guide! He even treated us to Toy Story 3 and caramel popcorn!!!

It was a fulfilling and "tummy-filling" trip! :)

The coming days will be a time for exercise!

An act of kindness

An interesing feeling always lingers in my heart after reading Mitch Albom's books. A deeper part of me seems to surface and set me thinking about life, and death. It really is a little dash between life's 2 most important dates-birth date & death date. To make the best dash is not easy, but I hope my dash will be bolder increasingly. That would mean an increase in depth.

I just read "Have A Little Faith". It truly inspires me to be a woman of God, living according to God's purpose for me, and doing more things to impact others around me. I realise that as I past my 2nd decade in life, I grew and matured, looking past the facade of life and grasping the cruel truth that surrounds our society. I used to briskly walk past aunties and uncles who were trying to sell me a few packs of tissues for $2. Until one day, I brushed my shoulders against this "tissue Aunty" at Bugis. I instantly feel her sweat on my skin. But my disgust was transformed into a tint of compassion. "She must be standing there for the whole afternoon." Because I walked really fast, I was already halfway into Bugis village. Feeling a sense of guilt, I made a turn, jostled through the crowd to reach her. It was just a small act of kindness, which I almost didn't manage.

When we are serving others, we're actually serving Jesus. It might just be a small gesture of kindness. But I would never have known how much that would mean to that Aunty.

And I'm very proud to say that I did an act of kindness again today.
Perhaps, this kindness is more for myself than for her, to ease my unsettled heart. But I hope that one day I can reach out to the "tissue Aunty".